Monthly Archives: March 2009


“To hell with this bar!”

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When the months go by like days…

…what exactly does that mean for the liver of that life?

I saw a beautiful film a couple of weeks ago. Called “Perfume”. It was in English, much to my surprise, but as it was bootleg I couldn’t really tell what language it was in (one of those waaay too quiet ones). But I knew what was going on, and I found it truly touching.

You see, it was about a young man, let’s call him Aldo since I couldn’t hear the name properly, who was on a personal quest for fulfillment. He was questing after his heart’s deepest desire, the one thing that would fulfill him for all eternity. He thought that once he achieved this thing, his soul’s fulfillment would spill out onto the rest of the world, and satiation would be the word of the day for everyone, including himself. Or not–he didn’t really care so much about the rest of the world, only his own experience of the fulfillment that was possible in it.

So he strove for days, for weeks, months, and then finally years. But so much had perished in his questing for this ultimate goal, he failed to see the effect it had on those around him, let alone those closest to him. Despite the fact that he was most passionately involved in his work, he was responsible for destruction all around him. He was in the end, successful, however, and achieved that miraculous moment of swooning satiety which so few are wont to experience, but after the ecstasy of it faded, his soul was heavily enlightened. He saw in himself the sorrowful solitude at the core of each of us, this singular core and nothing more. He was not affected by the rejoicing in the world which his work had produced. He saw only that he was a beautiful star of the heavens, millions upon millions of miles away from understanding any other celestial being in the world. And upon the full effect of this knowledge, he withered into himself and withdrew from the world.

Course, that’s not really what happened. That’s just my way of putting something for someone who probably won’t read this.

Bela Balazs spoke it well:

My heart is bleeding, my soul is ailing,
I roved amongst men,

I loved with torment, with love of fire
In vain, in vain!

No stars are as far from each other
As two human souls!

Unquenchable desire burns me,
As long as I live, as long as I live.

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