Monthly Archives: November 2009

"Homeless Sociopaths"


My new love is Andrew Bird.

As the zodiac’s fish-goat, I was meant for this crab-man–I’ll just wait around til he realizes it…

He’ll be coming ’round when he comes…

Ex Interregnum

I’ve been miserable for the past 2 or 3 months or so. By and large due to stress at work and the resultant self-questioning that comes with my failures on the job. So I’ve been wondering what, if I’m still doing a hack-job after 3 years in the same field, can I do right–what am I truly fit to do in this life?

Naturally winning a bundle in the lottery comes to mind frequently, but once the lottery has been won, what then? I still want to know what career path I would best follow. I’ve worked as a cashier, a deli clerk, a tutor, a file-sorter, a cleaner, a book-keeper, a collections agent, and of course, property manager (that last one entails a few of the others). Not one of the many jobs I’ve held have I considered career-material, and although the latest endeavor has been challenging and without a dull day, I still am dispassionate about it. I find myself faced with the fact that I’m not in a position of holding the position that I excel in–one where I do not find myself faced with my own failure as often as I am in my current field.

So I asked myself: what do you want to be, now that you’re grown up? A teacher? With a degree in philosophy, there is precious little need for me in the halls of high school academia, but my minor in Latin would not preclude me from performance therein. Yet, the only schools in the area already have their tenured teachers, so I’ll have to relocate far from where I have guaranteed housing. And in light of the loans I currently hold, that’s kind of a bitch.

So maybe it’s time to go back to school. But what to take up? I took the LSAT’s and performed relatively well for a first-timer more than a year after graduation. But law school? At 28? And I’m not even interested in law! The theory of law and morality perhaps, but being an enforcer or interpreter of the law? I think not.

I took at look at the programs of UPenn, Rutgers, and NYU, and I came across one program of particular interest: the Draper Interdisciplinary Masters Program in Humanities and Social Thought. My immediate thought: This is of consequence. Oh, did I mention that I want to have a career that is at one and the same time on the academic side and impacting? Aside from childhood fantasies of being an actress [read: acceptable to the masses, effect of being social pariah during formative years], this is my next to best interest: philosophy, sociology, psychology, current affairs–what more could I ask for?!

So I think this thinking has done something for me. I think I’d like to learn a little more about this program and what its charges usually pursue after their degree has been earned. […reading Draper FAQ’s…] Ok, just did that. Says that there’s no regular profile of the students, but that most use it as a segue between baccalaureate studies and PhD pursuits. And some just have $40k sitting around… So, with an acceptance rate of less than 40%, what are my odds of getting in first and foremost, and second, what would be the utility once I was admitted?

Hmmmm…

Lonely Mathematician, Revisited

Ode to a Lonely Mathematician

Simplified, you exist alone
O, so depleted--you've broken yourself down
too far, too fast
They said you'd never amount to anything
zero can never equal two

You are to go on again
Parallel but separate
Separate and unbound

So far, there have not been any intersections
and lonely little line
you've dropped

Declined
into a negative
but progressing quadrant

None of your points matter

Taking it back…in time, I mean…

Murph accepted my invite to be a Facebook friend and reminded me of my youthful attempts at being poetic:

Ode to a Lonely Mathematician

Simplified, you exist alone
Oh, so depleted–you’ve broken yourself down
too far, too fast
They said you’d never be anything
Zero can never equal two
You are to go on again
Parallel but separate
So far, there have not been any intersections
Lonely little line you’ve dropped
Declined into a negative but progressing quadrant
All of your points don’t matter

I can see some revisions that need to be made here…