Monthly Archives: December 2012

Be Worthy

After having a mini epiphany upon reading Jeffrey Eugenides’ Advice to Young Writers, I turned to my secret heart, to what compels me most lately: OTEP. Most people don’t like them, I think. Don’t like her. I love her music. Not all the songs, but many.

Fierce. Rabid. Gnashing. GRRR! And she reminds me that I have to honor what’s at my core. I have to honor the fact that I AM a human, a woman, a descendant of thousands before me. Perhaps better, perhaps worse. But what I take from it, for better or worse, is that I must strive to be better. To honor the women I follow. To be worthy of the title, Woman.

We’ve settled. I’ve settled. But no more. A fire was lit within me a little over a month ago–I dont know what it was–but it will not die. I will die, barren, with none to carry the genetic print I am, and that’s fine; we have many women in my family overall, and they carry the torch proudly. I honor that now.

But for me, I want to go out, blazing, on my own terms. I want to conquer The Fear, or at the very least run with it for as long as I can keep up. Don’t we all?


Points of confusion (Part 1)

There are several points of confusion in my mind that I’ve been laboring over for nearly a lifetime. Things that were stated as truisms when I was very young, but which still are not clear to me now, even as an adult.

It’s a shame I never asked these questions before now, but there’s no time like the present:

Was I a mistake, an accident? (In reference to child bearing)

Well, whether or not they got married, set up a nursery and painted it, bought a cradle and diapers in anticipation of the very prospect of getting pregnant, I don’t see why it matters. You’re pretty lucky you were even conceived in light of the trickiness of ovulation. So if they didn’t mean to have you, they did mean to have sex that night, so… Deal with it. And marriage? Let’s not even go there.

Film Fanatic: Anna Karenina

For shame! I saw a film and had not yet read the book!

But when you put Tom Stoppard and Joe Wright together, who can wait the extra 12 hours it’ll take to get through the pendulous genius of Tolstoy?!

This was magnificent. I was disappointed by not one cast member, and I went home hoping to be reborn into 19th century Russia, just to have a chance at one of those dashing blokes!

The film of course centers less on the philosophical, ecumenical, and economical concerns that I am told the book does, but it reaches our human fallibility directly. And how!

All the stars in the 8 pm sky to Keira, Jude, Joe, Tom, and all the rest of this riveting production!


We all owe it to ourselves, to our predecessors, our history, to partake in this film.

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