After having a mini epiphany upon reading Jeffrey Eugenides’ Advice to Young Writers, I turned to my secret heart, to what compels me most lately: OTEP. Most people don’t like them, I think. Don’t like her. I love her music. Not all the songs, but many.
Fierce. Rabid. Gnashing. GRRR! And she reminds me that I have to honor what’s at my core. I have to honor the fact that I AM a human, a woman, a descendant of thousands before me. Perhaps better, perhaps worse. But what I take from it, for better or worse, is that I must strive to be better. To honor the women I follow. To be worthy of the title, Woman.
We’ve settled. I’ve settled. But no more. A fire was lit within me a little over a month ago–I dont know what it was–but it will not die. I will die, barren, with none to carry the genetic print I am, and that’s fine; we have many women in my family overall, and they carry the torch proudly. I honor that now.
But for me, I want to go out, blazing, on my own terms. I want to conquer The Fear, or at the very least run with it for as long as I can keep up. Don’t we all?